An Essay on The Societal Dominatrix- Part 1. The Introduction (or Quiet Riot Girl Said a Thing on the Internet)

So, a couple of days ago Quiet Riot Girl went and rattled my brain-cage and set my thoughts a-squawkin' (You know, I’m beginning to suspect that she isn’t even really all that quiet?  Maybe she just really liked “Cum On Feel the Noize.” I’ll have to investigate further.)   She started it all when she compared feminism to Miss Whiplash, a hypothetical dominatrix that punishes the Average Joe who doesn’t tow the feminist line, and rewards the Average Joe that does tow the feminist line.  Rewards him, that is, in ways that would practically count as punishments themselves for a saner man. Observe. (Edit: QRG pointed out a big gaffe on my part! Ms Whiplash is originally the creation of the very brilliant Mark Simpson.)

When you frame it right, it’s an apt enough metaphor and one I hear quite a lot.  I’m rather used to dominatrices being compared to things unfavorably, and I’m used to feminism prompting people to find something unfavorable to compare it to.   As for why those things happen, especially the former, well … I’m unsure.  But after bothering my keyboard for days I have, much like a long-haired cat who licks himself too often, come up with something.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, dominatrices are rarely far from my mind.  Or the rest of me, when I can help it.  (I mean, I married one and everything. )  So the end result was rather long.   Before sallying forth, I’d like to set down a couple of disclaimers.

 I don’t lay claim to the title ‘feminist.’  I never took a single class on the history or structure of feminism.  I’ve never attended a political rally aiming towards feminist goals.   My blog, my art, and my fiction frequently involve gender tweaking, and I don’t like most forms of sexism I run into; so I frequently find myself running alongside a self-identified feminists. However, I’m also pro-kink, pro-sex (y’know- perverted?), a huge nerd, into a lot of boyish pursuits (cartoons, baby!), rather meek, shy, and submissive, have some psychological issues, and some actual higher education in the field of psychology.  I’m a big unapologetic advocate of Free Speech, and I’m very anti-censorship.  Those aspects of my nature also frequently have me running alongside a lot of self-identified feminists!  Aaaand alongside some self-identified anti-feminists.  And non-feminists.  And also running against a lot of self-identified feminists.  Like, a lot of them.  Often. 

How frustrating, that people can be so hard to categorize.  Like we’re complicated or somethin’.

I prefer to just limit my internal definition of feminism to, “a movement that continually advocates for the establishment and/or protection of human rights for women,” while acknowledging that a mindset with those goals can operate in many, many different ways and, like any movement, it can frequently be used to great effect, or misused to ill effect.

I present a lot of opinions in the following posts about how the society I live in views several different things in the culture I live in.   I occasionally specify two opposing opinions.  I could call one side the feminists and the other side the anti-feminists, but I’m going to use - The Patriarchy and Feminism (with a capital F).   Why? Because the two opinions actually, to me, exist in our cultural/societal subconscious, but aren’t very likely to be held by any actual person.  So I use the more respectful names each side has designated for the other to represent these non-persons (who both contain more than a little bit of straw.)  I am not talking about you, your Feminism 101 professor, any major historical feminist figure, the president, your favorite AM radio conservative talk show host, your mom, or your dad.  Honest.  

The Patriarchy, Feminism, and The Dominatrix